One of the more common mistakes I see with writers is the use (or misuse) of dashes and ellipsis. When do you use ellipsis? And when do you use hyphens or the longer em dashes?
Here are the rules, as followed by The Chicago Manual of Style (CMOS) and most publishers:
Use the longer em dash to indicate faltering or interrupted speech. Here are some examples from CMS:
“Will he—can he—obtain the necessary signatures?” asked Mill.
“Well, I don’t know,” I began tentatively. “I thought I might—”
“Might what?” she demanded.
CMOS also says that if the break belongs to the surrounding sentence rather than to the quoted material, the em dashes must appear outside the quotation marks, as such:
“Someday he’s going to hit one of those long shots, and”—his voice turned huffy—“I won’t be there to see it.”
The em dash, by the way, can be obtained in Word either when you write two dashes and immediately after write a letter, or by holding down the control and alt keys and the dash on the upper right hand corner of the keypad.
The smaller hyphen is used when just a word is incomplete, as when a character is stuttering: “I d-don’t kn-know what to th-think.”
Ellipses, however, are often used when the character is stammering, but the words are complete, as in: "I ... I don't know what to think."
You can use a combination in a sentence:
“Why ... why don’t you dr-drive a bit more ca-carefully?”
Just be careful you aren't driving a reader crazy! The above sentence, to my taste, has too much going on, and is hard to read. It may slow the story down. I would have pared some of these away, as they make it a bit more difficult for the reader.
There’s a school of thought that would eliminate ellipsis, which have become rather overdone in writing today. For one thing, most writers use them incorrectly, when they should be using em dashes or commas. For another, if a writer uses them too much (as in every other sentence of dialogue) they become an annoying visual roadblock for readers. And, finally, they indicate weak dialogue.
“Ummm…what do you think…should I do it?”
“Hmmm…well…I don’t know.”
“Yeah…I better think about it…at least a bit more.”
Maybe real people talk like that, with pauses. But this is amazingly boring dialogue (not to mention that some of those ellipses should really be commas). If you are writing snappy, fresh dialogue, you probably won’t need many ellipses.
So next time, before you type those three little dots, think about what you really need, and whether there’s a better way to write that piece of dialogue.
The following three-part series is reprinted from the Sisters in Crime blog:
We’ve all had the experience of reading a book, being completely immersed, and then, whoosh, we’re thrown out of the story. It can be as simple as a misspelled word or as grievous as a character whose name has suddenly changed.
This is where the editor steps in—or should have stepped in, I should say.
Editors often get a bad rap. Most writers don’t like their words to be changed, trimmed or otherwise played with. Editors are seen as nitpickers, at best; an intrusive presence, at worst. A good editor, though, leaves behind a better story, without having left a footprint behind.
If you are a first-time writer, this experience can be invaluable, as Toby Speed, a Long Island Sisters in Crime member, found. Speed spent 15 years crafting her first novel and another year shopping it around.
“After many revisions and a couple of overhauls, at 101,600 words it was perfect,” she said. “I’d had two groups of beta readers go through it carefully and I incorporated their helpful, detailed comments.”
But Speed’s mystery story was going nowhere until one editor wrote back, explaining the importance of pacing and suggesting a cut of 15,000 to 20,000 words—and, best yet, the editor had shown her how, by editing the first 70 pages. But, at first, this only annoyed Speed.
“She had even deleted my prologue, the best writing in the book!” Speed said. “I walked around grumbling for 24 hours, wondering how I could possibly cut that many words without harming the story."
"Then I read the editor’s version with the tracking turned off. It read really well—in fact, a whole lot better than the original. The story got started right away and moved right along. The first two chapters ended in the right place. I took a deep breath and over the next six weeks, following her example, I shaved nearly 16,000 words from the story and resubmitted it."
"No one else had seen my story as it was—or as it had the potential to become.”
Speed resubmitted her book, and a publishing company is considering it.
Her experience is not uncommon. As a writer, it’s hard to be objective of one’s own work. A fresh set of eyes—an experienced set of eyes—is always helpful.
When searching for an editor, you should be aware that there are three levels of editing--developmental editing, copyediting and proofreading. Some editors will work in all three areas; some editors specialize in only one of them.
Developmental editing (also called substantive editing).
In traditional publishing, this is the first round of editing, and it may reshape your manuscript quite a bit. Not all writers may feel they need this, but if you do, you should expect a developmental editor to look at:
Copy editing (or line editing), which includes:
If you’ve worked with a good copy editor, you are not likely to need this last step. Generally, proofreaders are employed by publishers to read the story in typeset form, to look for any remaining errors in spelling, punctuation, or typesetting.
Finding—and Hiring—a Freelance Editor
You’ve finished your novel and now you need an editor. Some writers turn to an English teacher they know or a friend who was always good at spotting errors. But these may not always be the best sources. A professional copy editor has training and years of experience behind her, and will give your novel a far more thorough look.
How do you find this editor, and how do you go about hiring her?
One of the best ways of finding a copy editor is to ask for references from other writers. There’s also a very large pool of talent at the Editorial Freelancers Association (www.the-efa.org). A posting there will generate dozens and dozens of applicants. Some regions may have their own groups, such as the Bay Area Editors’ Forum in San Francisco (http://www.editorsforum.org/).
Now that you have a pool of applicants, the best way to winnow them is to ask them to complete a sample edit (anywhere from six to 12 pages). This is probably the most important step you can take. This will give you an idea of their editing strengths and, just as importantly, their bedside manner. Most editing inherently feels like criticism, and you’ll be reading page after page of this, so make sure you understand (and can stand) an editor’s comments.
A sample edit of this length is also enough to give the editor an idea of how long it will take her to complete the project, and she can base a price estimate on this. You can find common copy-editing rates at http://www.the-efa.org/res/rates.php, although individual rates vary considerably. Just remember, as in most everything else, you get what you pay for sometimes!
Editors also vary on the way they like to be paid. Some editors ask for a deposit, then a second or even a third payment later on, and a final payment. Other editors will charge you weekly, or as they finish sections of the book. Make sure all this is spelled out in advance in a contract.
Here are other important questions for you to ask:
Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Editor
The next step, after determining what type of editor you want and hiring someone, is to maintain that relationship–and make the most of it. If the two of you are a good fit, this is a relationship that may potentially continue for many years–throughout more books, short stories, magazine articles, websites or blog posts. The secret of maintaining a long-lasting relationship is like many other working relationships. Communicating clearly and with respect goes a long way.
Here are some other tips:
Agents' Pet Peeves
Are you unwittingly turning off an acquiring editor by committing one of her pet peeves?
Two acquiring editors spoke about what works – and what doesn’t – at a panel at the Left Coast Crime convention in Colorado Springs.
Denise “Deni” Dietz, a senior editor for Five Star publications, says any manuscript sent to her should follow the submission guidelines, and authors should be professional in their dealings with her. She isn’t looking for perfection in a manuscript, but she is looking for someone with a “good voice” and for solid “characterization, plot, and pacing.”
“You can edit a book, but you can’t edit a[n author's] voice,” Dietz said.
She also has several pet peeves, and she warns writers:
Terri Bischoff, acquiring editor for Midnight Ink, mostly accepts agented submissions or those by invitation. Like Dietz, she has pet peeves, too.
One of them is authors who don’t know the genre or subgenre in which they are writing. “Or they say, ‘I write like so and so,’ and I open the manuscript and it isn’t at all” like that writer, Bischoff said. Also, writers who submit and a week later are asking her about the submission don’t do themselves any favors, she said.
Because Dietz and Bischoff work for smaller publishing houses, they will often critique or give suggestions to authors who show promise, but whose manuscript may still need some work. Take time to really rework the manuscript before resubmitting it, they said.
Finally, don’t try to follow the trends, or the popular authors.
“If you are submitting to me and saying, ‘it’s like Dan Brown,’ “ said Dietz, “well, I tried getting through Dan Brown four times and finally gave up.”
Lourdes Venard is a freelance editor and copyediting instructor.